A side-splittingly funny smackdown delivered with style.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Rocket content only peripherally related: One of the funniest rocket names I've ever seen was "Spock's Johnson". Straight up, it was.

Posted by: Ted at 07:20 PM | category: Links
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On Saturday we picked up our first foster rabbit. We'll be taking care of Ozzie until Bunny Lu Adoptions can find him a permanent home. He's still in the settling-in stage and rather jumpy, but so far he's eating and using his litter box normally, so it looks like it'll be ok. As you can see, Ozzie is pure white with haunting "ruby" eyes.

Rachael fell in love with Ozzie when she was home for Christmas break, and would like nothing better than for us to bond him into a group with our other two, Fred and Java.

One thing is certain, Ozzie is a lovable guy. If you hold your hand out to him, he'll put his head under your fingers so that you can scratch behind his ears. He wasn't too sure about the dogs at first, which was driving Trix crazy. Trix loves the rabbits even though they don't act like dogs, I believe that he thinks they're retarded puppies. Because Ozzie was so skittish, tonight was the first night that they've been in close contact. We expanded the pen so there was some running -around room, then Trix and I went in and lay down and waited quietly. Before long Ozzie came up to us to check things out, and he and Trix sniffed each other a bit. Trix mostly stayed on his belly, dragging himself around by his front legs so that he was on the same level as Ozzie. I've never seen anything like it. Within an hour Trix and Ozzie were laying side by side on the floor, just chillin'.

So far, this foster bunny thing is working a-ok.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | category: Links
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Unlike some of our neighboring counties, Prince William County, Virginia has decided that they want to be unfriendly towards illegal aliens. And how would they go about it?

The idea is for officers at the county's Adult Detention Center to become trained as ICE, (immigration and customs enforcement) officers, which would allow them to deport dangerous criminals who are also illegal aliens.

I like. The deportation proceedings begin after the sentence is served.

Meanwhile:

The Prince William Board of County Supervisors has asked county staff to complete the study by Jan 16. The county, where about 20 percent of residents are foreign-born, is one of several local governments grappling with a wave of new residents, many of them illegal immigrants. Supervisors said the problem is driving up costs for schools, health care, law enforcement and social services.

The study has been completed and the Supervisors are expected to sign a detailed invoice tomorrow, after which they'll send it to the federal government.

"I really think they should pay, but it is more symbolic," [Supervisor] Covington said.

The study will include the impact on the police department and jail and court system. Supervisor Maureen S. Caddigan requested that the county's hospitals and health clinics also be reviewed.

Additional education costs are not part of the study. So far, even the Hispanic organizations are supporting this effort because of the lack of detailed analysis on the impact of illegal aliens on local economies.

Posted by: Ted at 12:23 PM | category: Links
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Well, not blamed actually, but the possibility* is there.

So China has discovered pole dancing. I'd like to welcome any and all Chinese visitors looking for pole dancing music. In fact, while you're here, I'd like to correct one misconception you seem to have about the west.

Celebrities such as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are said to be followers of this trend.

The above statement outrageously overstates America's give-a-shit factor when it comes to those two (it's measured in mille-fuckits). Don't pole dance because nitwits like that do it. Pole dance for yourselves, pole dance for your boyfriends and husbands. Pole dance for world peace. Oh look, another one of those "possibilities".

*About as much possibility as me being elected Pope.

Posted by: Ted at 07:58 AM | category: Links
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While I was recuperating the ol' back (a while back), I had the opportunity to watch a few movies, back to back (ok, I'll stop). There were some very forgettable ones, but I found a gem in the stacks.

The Bat (1959) is a tight little thriller starring Vincent Price and Agnes Moorehead. The plot is quite intricate, and the cast is very much up to the challenge.

Agnes Moorehead plays an author who writes murder whodunnits, and she's rented a mansion for the summer. The mansion is owned by the local banker, who's away on an extended hunting trip with his doctor (Vincent Price). Price gives a wonderfully understated performance, unlike some of his later scenery-chewing roles where his inner-ham shines brightly.

In the story, the banker has embezzled a million dollars from his bank and figures that his head cashier will be blamed. Before you know it, the banker winds up dead and the scramble begins as several people have figured out what must be one of the worst-kept secrets in movie history, namely, where the money is hidden.

Mix in a mysterious serial killer nicknamed "The Bat" who's terrorizing the town, an outbreak of actual rabid bats, murder on the side, greed, embezzlement, and a missing million dollars, and you have a whole lot of possibilities to consider. The movie manages to juggle all the details in such a way to keep you guessing and not confuse the basic story.

Agnes Moorehead's character is refined and well-to-do, but she's no pushover. In fact, all of the women in the movie are strong.

Doctor: Do you know how to use that gun?

Agnes Moorehead: My books are full of guns, and I only write about what I know.

You may remember Darla Hood of Little Rascals fame. She appears here, all grown up in what turned out to be her final movie role.

I'm not sure why, but the servants always seem to get all the best comic lines. In this case it's the maid, and she's a hoot.

Something else that I saw that amused me no end is that the men all wear suits, which is normal for movies in the 40's and 50's. The funny part is that even The Bat is wearing a suit while he prowls around looking to murder again.

This one is worth looking for, especially if you're a Vincent Price fan. Recommended.

Update: Victor points out that this is a remake of the original 1926 silent version! Cool. Now I'll have to look for it.

Posted by: Ted at 08:10 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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It's been colder than a witch's you-know-what in a brass bra. Highs in the upper 20's and single digit nights. Perfect soup weather.

I started a pot of Beef and Barley soup last night and let it cook all night and all day today in the crock pot. Basically, I tossed a bunch of things into it that we had on hand, and it came out good enough to fool people that I might know what I'm doing in the kitchen.

Beef & Barley Soup

Ingredients
1 lb stew beef
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can diced tomatoes
1 small can V-8 juice
4 cups beef stock
2 carrots, chopped
1 cup frozen corn
1 Tbsp worchestershire sauce
2 Tbsp red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 Tbsp Hungarian paprika
1 tsp rubbed sage
2/3 cup barley

Brown the stew beef in a hot skillet with the olive oil. When done, toss it into the crock pot and set the heat for high.
Add the tomatoes (with juice), the V-8 and the beef stock.
Stir in the worchestershire, vinegar, paprika and sage.
Add the garlic, carrots and corn, then let it simmer for an hour or so before turning the heat down to low.

Let it cook for several hours (overnight in my case) and then add the barley (about 5am as I was getting ready for work). Either leave it on low to cook for the rest of the day, or turn the heat up to high and cook for another hour or until the barley is done.

If I had had them, I would have added onions and celery, but I don't know that those would have been an improvement. The vinegar and tomatoes give a nice tang, balanced by the brown sugar. The broth was rich and savory, and by dinner time tonight the meat was falling-apart tender.

We've got quite a stretch of cold weather in the forecast. I think I'll keep the soup pot out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:26 PM | category: Recipes
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If I were elected Pope, I'd change my name to Methusela I.

It couldn't hurt.

Posted by: Ted at 11:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Found over at Texas Best Grok.

This is a list of the 50 most significant science fiction/fantasy novels, 1953-2002, according to the Science Fiction Book Club.

Bold the ones you've read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk beside the ones you loved.

The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov
Dune, Frank Herbert
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein
A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
Neuromancer, William Gibson (this is on my 'get to someday' list)
Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov
Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
Cities in Flight, James Blish
The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett
Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison
The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey
Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson
The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
Gateway, Frederik Pohl
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
Little, Big, John Crowley
Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick
Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
On the Beach, Nevil Shute
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
Ringworld, Larry Niven
Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner
The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks
Timescape, Gregory Benford
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer

You'll notice no "love" asterisks nor "hate" strikethroughs, mainly because people's tastes vary so much. I'm not a big fan of fantasy, and yet I've read most of them on the list. I also own almost every bolded title on the list. I discovered SciFi early and read everything I could get my hands on.

I don't care for Anne Rice (except for "Ramses the Damned"), and I've never read a Harry Potter book. I love Farmer and Zelazny and have read "Gateway" multiple times, but my first recommendation from the list which you've probably never read is "A Canticle for Leibowitz". Powerful story.

There ya go. If you want to take it and run with it, leave a link in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 05:47 AM | category: Links
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Somehow, I'm not surprised that this happened in a bar.

Wiese, a die-hard fan of the Chicago Bears, signed a pledge in front of a crowd at a Decatur bar last Friday night that if the Bears lost Sunday's Super Bowl, he'd change his name to that of the man who led the Indianapolis Colts to victory.

As the loser of one of these silly bets (I wound up doing laundry for five years after a "can't lose" bet with my wife), I can appreciate the confidence that he felt when he made that wager.

So Tuesday, Wiese went to the Macon County Courts Facility and started the process of changing his name.

You've kept your honor, Scott... er, Peyton.

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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If you're planning a quiet evening watching a movie together, don't pick War of the Roses.

Posted by: Ted at 05:49 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Super Bowl Helps Nevada Sports Books Set Near-record for Wagering

How do you set a near-record? By not breaking the actual record!

Thanks AP, we're all a little stupider for reading that.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Links
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Spent an eventful weekend visiting Robyn and her new husband Henry. Well, that was the excuse, anyways. The real reason we travelled to Norfolk was for minor league hockey.

Liz discovered that President Bush was going to be visiting Williamsburg on Saturday, which is right on our way. In order to avoid any potential traffic problems caused by security around the decider-in-chief, we took an alternate route which made for a beautiful drive through the countryside.

After spending the afternoon visiting, we headed downtown to see the Norfolk Admirals play the Philadelphia Phantoms. This was Henry's first live hockey game.

The people at the arena (Scopes?) were really nice, but I was truly pissed off about the accomodations for the handicapped. We wound up on the lower parking level, and the only way to the entrance was to go up the vehicle ramp, where we almost got run over by a cop! He was insisting that there was an elevator, and we were insisting that the damn thing was inside a locked foyer and not accessible. Once inside, the staff listened to my complaints and did their own check and sure enough, the parking elevator was locked up. Odd thing is, nobody there had a key to unlock it, because it was mainly for the adjoining theater. I can't believe that they've never encountered this situation before, and it took me a while to calm down.

So anyway, game time. The Admirals are in the middle of a great season, so the arena was better than 3/4 full. They're a farm team for the Chicago Black Hawks, and we enjoyed spotting the various incarnations of the Admirals uniforms from years past. They've changed logos a couple of times, and back a few years ago their team colors were blue and gold, which made for really good looking jerseys. Now they wear Chicago's red, black and gold.

I'd heard that minor league hockey had been tamed. No fights, no hitting. Let me tell you, NOT TRUE! In the first few minutes of the game two guys dropped their gloves, threw off the helmets and went at it. As usual, the refs waited until they fell to the ice in a heap to break it up. After the next face off, two more guys did the same thing. The place was going wild! There were a couple of scrums later on and quite a bit of pushing and shoving, but that was it for the fights.

As for hitting, there were some hellacious hits. Norfolk is a smaller and faster finesse team but they dished out more than they took during the game.

My biggest problem with the Admirals is that they tended to make one pass too many. I screamed myself hoarse to put the damn puck on the net as they repeatedly passed up shots to try to make the perfect set up. As expected with minor league hockey, the skill level was a shade below what you're used to seeing in the NHL. Passes just missed, or if they did hit the tape weren't controlled well. Lots of "oops, forgot something" moments as they frantically hit the brakes and tried to reverse to gather up a missed puck.

No matter, the game was fun and we'll be doing it again soon. I wish we lived closer, because season tickets would be great. Oh yeah, lower section tickets were $16.00. Can't beat that. The title of this post is a combination of what was announced as a Phantoms player left the penalty box - "Philadelphia is at full strength" - the crowds hollered response each time - "AND YOU STILL SUCK!". Cracked me up.

The Admirals came back from two down to tie it up 3 all. No score in the overtime, and the Admirals took the shootout to win it.

On Sunday, Liz and I stopped at Williamsburg Pottery on the way home. This place is amazing, like a super-duper yardsale/flea market/k-mart/dollar store/nursury. Laid out in a sprawling jumble of buildings, you can easily spend hours there just looking around - and we did. Imagine your local craft store, which is probably pretty large if you're near one of the big chains. Now imagine that store if it sold nothing but baskets. That's one department at Williamsburg Pottery. Cool place. I picked up some smoked salt and rice vinegar in the gourmet section, along with a few other odds and ends for the kitchen.

So all in all we had a very enjoyable weekend.

Heh. I just heard from Robyn, who was up early doing homework after Henry left for work. He wants to go to the hockey game this Friday.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Later I'll get a chance to tell you about our wonderful weekend, but for now, in no particular order:

1. Charities that don't pick up when they say they will. You called and asked if we had anything to donate. As a matter of fact, we did. So, per your instructions, we packed up two boxes of stuff, put signs on them and set them out by the curb. Your people didn't bother to come by and the wind made short work of the plastic we'd covered the boxes with, so now tomorrow the trash guys get to haul off two soggy boxes of crap. Next time you call, you're going to get an earfull along with a request to take us off your calling list.

2. Did you know that a black coach won the Superbowl? Yeah, big whoop to most of America, both black and white. Thanks though, to those idiots who repeatedly whacked me over the head with the diversity shit all night long. Broadcasters (2a. Phil Simms is an annoying ass) and advertisers alike. In this day and age, we're supposed to be past the race thing. Note it once and get over it. By the way, congratulations to both Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith for getting their teams to the big game. Y'all are tops.

3. Rascal Flats. To me, their music sounds manufactured, like they're the Back Street Boys of country music. I was flipping through the stations this morning and heard their version of "Life Is A Highway" from the movie Cars. Gack. I'd rather listen to the Laurence Welk version, it would have more soul. I think I know where the Menudo rejects go when they reach puberty.

Posted by: Ted at 05:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Have a great one.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Have a great one.

Posted by: Ted at 05:23 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Have a great one.

Posted by: Ted at 05:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Unfortunately, I can't make it. Liz and I are headed down to see newlywed daughter Robyn and Henry this weekend. To make up for the lack of smoke, fire and noise, we've got tickets to see a minor league hockey game Saturday night. Go Norfolk Admirals!

Posted by: Ted at 07:28 PM | category: Rocketry
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That's true of rockets too. Of course, the trick is to control exactly where it comes down.

Dick Stafford links to some wicked cool video of a Delta 2 rocket that suffered an... uh, anamoly (their word) just seconds after liftoff. I'd seen the second of the three clips that he links to, and wondered what kind of damage was done to the facilities. Now I know. A chunk of burning debris landed in the parking lot where the folks in the blockhouse were working, incinerating a couple dozen cars and leaving a big crater in the asphalt where it hit. By incinerate, I mean windshields and tire rims were *melted*.

Dick also covers this more recent oopsie (unofficial term) that happened a couple of days ago on the SeaLaunch platform (including more video).

In both of these accidents, nobody was injured. It ain't called "rocket science" for nothing, people!

Posted by: Ted at 07:20 PM | category: Space Program
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I even mentioned it last May.

Must see is this nifty CG video of one of NASA's Mars missions, with the opening soundtrack supplied by Lenny Kravitz. Kick ass.

Posted by: Ted at 07:11 PM | category: Space Program
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I first reviewed the podcast Second Shift here. For those not inclined to click that link, Second Shift is an audio play done in the old-radio serial episode format. They've now completed their first season and during my vacation I downloaded all of the episodes (they're free) and listened to the entire story again before finishing up with the two-part grand finale. Let me tell you, it's a crackerjack ending.

Highly recommended. I can't wait for their next season.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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